6:48 AM
Alex
Plastic surgery is something that everybody gets, but nobody wants to talk about. Usually it's the ladies who over-indulge, but there are plenty of male stars who go to far with the facelifts as well. Check these horrific examples.
Carrot Top is a Goddamned freak anyways, even without the contributions of medical science. The physical comedian turned gym rat has pumped up his muscles to a ludicrous degree. But what we're concerned with here is his face. His horrible, horrible face. His face is broader and his brows are insanely lifted. He's obviously had Botox injections as well, and he basically looks like a terrifying monster. Of laughs.
Some dudes use plastic surgery to clean up trouble areas. And then some dudes use it to totally go bananas and reinvent themselves as silicone-faced homunculi. For Pete Burns, best known as the singer for British synth-pop band Dead Or Alive, the latter was the way to go. Burns has subjected himself to an orgy of procedures over the last few years, but the absolute worst is his botched lip job, which makes him look like a funhouse mirror Angelina Jolie. He's suing the surgeon but really, dude, you should have known better.
There's a common side effect from male plastic surgery that tends to feminize the face - whether it's due to surgeons mostly practicing on women or some other factor, dudes who get a lot of work done often end up looking like really haggard chicks. Case in point: Barry Manilow. The crooner has had so many waves of Botox crash on his face that he's starting to look like a pixie-cut Elfquest reject. It's getting to be a little worrisome.
Some of the worst plastic surgery mistakes happen when dudes try to fix botched jobs - you can't polish a turd, as the saying goes. Olympian Bruce Jenner got some bad work done 25 years ago, leaving him with a skinny nose and a too-tight face, but when he went back to the operating room to get it rectified it basically left him looking like an overcooked Hot Pocket with wrinkles in it. Sorry, man. At least you still have your medals, assuming a Kardashian hasn't pawned them.
If you were born with a face like Gary Busey, you think you'd learn to live with it. But that hasn't stopped the iconoclastic actor from going under the knife to make his visage even more horrifying. True, part of it is due to a motorcycle accident he was in years ago, but that doesn't explain the intense veneers he put on his prominent teeth. Seriously, those are weapons-grade.
It's kind of funny that just as Mickey Rourke made his big comeback with The Wrestler, his years of horrendous facelifts started to rebound on him. Rourke has obviously had just a pile of work done on his mug in the last few years, which has left him looking like a half-dehydrated Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man with hair plugs. Puffy face, weird lines, insane-looking eyebrows - this is our checklist for too much time under the knife.
Legendary producer Robert Evans has his name on some of the best flicks ever. But for a dude who spends his time behind the scenes, he's had an awful lot of surgery. Look at the tip of his nose - it has the telltale dimple of too many jobs, not to mention the fact that it's as skinny as a toothpick. Moving on to his actual dermis, aeons of tanning have given him a complexion that's halfway between a Timberland boot and a human nutsack. Nice peels, too.
Michael Douglas has long denied having plastic surgery, but let's be straight: he has to be keeping Catherine Zeta-Jones in the house somehow. His perpetually tightened face gives him an expression of being surprised all the time, but if you were friends with Charlie Sheen you'd probably look like that naturally anyways. He was recently photographed with telltale facelift scars, so that settles that question.
It's sort of low to pick on David Gest, but we're bad people. The former Liza Minnelli husband was never a very good-looking guy, but the cleft chin, cheek implants and nose job he got in 1981 were absolutely disastrous. The technology was way more primitive back then, and as he aged the artificial parts started looking really nasty.
Igor Bogdanoff (and his brother Grichka) are probably best known in theoretical physics circles as the wackjobs behind the Bogdanoff affair, where they floated their kooky theory of the first few seconds after the Big Bang to reputable scientific journals. That done, they then started hosting bizarre UFO cult shows on French television and using the money to get extreme pastic surgery, adding intense layers to their chins and cheeks. Why? No one will ever know.
Have you wondered why you haven't seen much of Garry Shandling in recent years? Well, it's because the comedian decided to get some of the worst plastic surgery ever. In an effort to stave off the ravages of time, he seems to have had his flace ludicrously both puffed and smoothed. He looks like somebody drew a face on an old balloon.
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